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2nd day
Survived the 2nd day with no worries. I made a schedule last night para every minute may gawin ako. I wanted to keep my mind busy. Nung wala naman akong ginagawa, natulog ako. Good thing nakakapagod to na day para sa akin kasi nakatulog ako agad. Honestly, I’m getting used to not having him around na. Iniiwasan ko na din siya. I make sure na hindi ko siya makakasalubong kasi di ko alam kung ano irereact ko. Maybe next time na ako magpapakita sa kanya, if ready na ako. If kaya ko ng mag “hi” LANG sa kanya. I don’t stalk him that much na. And I can handle receiving texts from him without feeling the hurt. Yes, I’m starting to move on. Paunti unti. But what keeps me stopping is the thought that if he’s okay. If he’s eating 3 times a day. If he’s taking care of himself. If he did what I said that he should bring his umbrella all the time. If he’s happy. I wish I can have the invisible cloak that harry had, so I can sneak on his room and look at him, then by that time, maybe my questions are answered and I can continue living my life like I used to.
Single life. I never imagined to be single again. I thought I can hold on to him till death. I never wished to be single again. But the thought of being free from the hurt feelings is keeping me calm. I’m satisfied with what I have and don’t have now. I’m satisfied with my new inspiration. I wish this could keep me holding on to what I am now. 8 more months ‘till graduation and I’m out.
I hope he’s the same. I can’t go on if he’s still holding me. He needs to be happy. I’ll be happy to see him that way. I wish I can see him now.
I miss you. Be happy. I know you can because your strong. You were always strong. And I’m very proud of you.